Damian Lenihan, Executive Director, Europe, Aetna International, discusses some practical ways to adapt to the uncertainty of our present situation and come out of it even stronger.
Life certainly has a way of throwing us curveballs, and the COVID-19 outbreak is a case in point. I imagine few of us anticipated that we’d live through a global pandemic of this nature and yet here we are, learning to take each day’s news as it comes and acquainting ourselves with a rapidly changing new kind of normal.
It’s a time that we need to navigate carefully if we want to emerge in one piece, and if you already consider yourself mentally tough then you’re in a great position. Mental toughness – combining hardiness, optimism, confidence and a predisposition towards challenge and risk – means you’ll have stoically accepted the current situation and be focusing already on what you can learn and gain, no matter what the upcoming economical and social challenges of COVID-19 might bring.
What people with this personality trait embody is a natural resilience in the face of adversity as well as the ability to tolerate ambiguity – useful skills in these unprecedented times. And the good news is that developing mental resilience is a skill, made up of a combination of behaviours, thoughts and actions, that can be learnt and practised. Think of it like a muscle, something that needs to be used for it to grow stronger.
Resilience means being adaptable to stressful and unforeseen circumstances, and having the capacity to bounce back – or perhaps even bounce forward. Certainly, working to develop this quality will enable more of us to roll with the punches and persevere, no matter what the next couple of months bring.
Here are five practical strategies to help you hone your resilience skills
1. Keep connected
Social distance and self-isolation might be the current words du jour, but that doesn’t mean stop being sociable. In fact, emotionally isolating yourself from your support network can be detrimental to your overall health and well-being in times of crisis. By our very nature, human beings are social creatures and a sense of belonging, acceptance and community is central to our subjective well-being.
So, social support is a huge factor in bolstering our internal coping capacities – to put this into context, consider that research shows that hills look less steep when we’re standing next to a friend, as opposed to standing alone. Reaching out to people builds emotional resilience, so connect with others as much as you can. Make time to have long chats with friends and family, set up virtual work meetings using Skype, Zoom or FaceTime, and consider joining one of the many online groups that are springing up, such as Rob Stephenson’s Wellness Wednesday Lunches.
2. Opt for optimism
When unforeseen or negative events occur, people naturally search for an explanation to make sense of it all and the manner in which you explain these events to yourself really makes a difference. If you want to develop resilience, adopting an optimistic explanatory style is key. This means attributing the current issues to temporary, specific and external causes as opposed to permanent, pervasive and internal. So rather than seeing the current outbreak as something that will never end, that will negatively affect every area of your life and that leaves you powerless and helpless (which would be considered a pessimistic explanatory style), remind yourself that this will pass and that, while certain areas of your life may well change, you have the inner resources to deal with these as they come and react accordingly.
3. Look after yourself
Stress and anxiety about the unknown creates a physical response as much as an emotional one, so now is the time to focus on positive lifestyle factors where possible. Getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, eating well and finding opportunities to exercise (an obstacle course in the garden with the kids? A yoga YouTube video in the evening before bed?) will all pay dividends when it comes to weathering the current storm.
It can also help to pay attention to what you pay attention to. If a constant influx of news is causing you to feel overwhelmed, for example, turn to a few trusted sources and limit yourself to looking at them twice a day.
4. Find purpose
Meaning and achievements are core tenets of well-being but, at the moment, it can feel like there is a cap to what you can actually accomplish. Nonetheless, try to develop small, realistic goals you can work towards while you are at home – whether that’s reading a book that you’ve always wanted to completing a household task or learning something new online.
Planning and sticking to a new routine might also be something that you want to consider, especially if you are finding the current predicament overwhelming. Having a routine obviously gives structure to your day, and will help delineate weekdays from weekends if you’re not working from home, but it also creates a sense of safety and predictability that can be very calming.
5. Stay in the moment
Doing activities that keep you in the present are a very helpful way of managing anxiety about the future, as they calm down your amygdala, the fight or flight part of the brain triggered by fear and stress. Find a strategy that works for you – prayer or meditation if a spiritual route calls to you, an app such Headspace or myStrength, practising yoga, mindful journaling or colouring, or any other activity you can lose yourself in for a period of time.
You could also try positive
psychology strategies that help you focus on the good in your life, such as
gratitude or savouring. You might like to try writing down three things you are
grateful for at the end of every day, and share these each week with your
family during lockdown. Or you might like to take the opportunity to savour and
appreciate some of the smaller things in life – actively listening to the birds
singing in the morning, noticing the quality of the light as the sun rises, smelling
your coffee before taking a sip. Research shows that the ability to savour the
moment is positively associated with increased happiness, which in turn fosters
the hope and motivation crucial to staying resilient in these unparalleled times.